I am a compulsive over eater and a member of program. I have been working a program of recovery since 2005, and by the Grace of God, been abstinent for the most part since I started.
They say: “we come for the vanity, but we stay for the sanity.” That has been true for me.
Program has given me tools to live life on life’s terms. After I did the steps for the first time, my husband got so happy with me. I said to him: “Why are you so happy with me? Nothing has changed.”
He said: “No, you have changed. You used to be the kind of person who blamed every one for all your problems. Now you are a can-do kind of person. You have completely transformed (his exact word) yourself.”
I said: “do you think that it is program?”
“Oh no Honey: you did it!”
The next time I went through the steps, he got even happier with me.
I said to him: “why are you so happy with me? Nothing has changed.”
This time he said: “You’re right. I’ve changed!”
And, he has.
Now, it sounds like a funny story, but really, we know from the AA Big Book, that this program offers us tools for having a spiritual transformation as the result of these steps, and that when we work our program, it speaks louder than a blow horn: like ripples on water, we are transformed as are the people around us.
If anyone would have told me that putting my food on a scale would be a spiritual experience, I would not have believed them. But, that is how it has been for me. Putting my food on the scale has put boundaries around my food, and given me the space to live my life. It has given me structure and disciple, and by practicing the tools and prayer and meditation, it has given me conscious contact with the God of my own understanding.
Having gone through the steps and taken others through the steps, it has become my belief that food is a metaphor. Not only am I powerless over my food — I am powerless over my life.
God is the solution to all my problems. He is my Father and Director. I am His Child. I do not need to feel afraid, because He is always with me and He is always taking care of me. My job is to do His Will and take the next right step.
With blessings for peace and recovery,