STEP 8-“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” Under this step we will make a list (mental or written) of those we have harmed.
We ask GOD to let His Will be done, not OUR will, and ask for the strength and courage to become willing to forget resentments and false pride and make amends to those we have harmed. We must not do this step grudgingly, or as an unpleasant task to be rid of quickly. We must do it WILLINGLY, fairly and humbly without condescension.
STEP 9-“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Here is where we make peace with ourselves by making peace with those we have hurt.
The amends we make must be direct. We must pay in kind for the hurt we have done them.
If we have cheated them we must make restitution.
If we have hurt their feelings we must ask forgiveness from them.
The list of harms done may be long but the list of amends is equally long.
For every “wrong” we have done, there is a “right” we may do to compensate.
There is only one exception. we must develop a sense of justice, a spirit of fairness, an attitude of common sense. If our effort to make amends would create further harm or cause a scandal we will have to skip the “direct amends” and clean the matter up under STEP 5.
A state of complete humility is very difficult to attain, but the goal is well worth the effort, considering the serenity that is achieved.
from The Table Mate