Antidote To Selfishness: Identify — Assess — Stop — Change

How do we stop being selfish?

Ever since our meeting last week, this has been going through my mind.

As addicts, our core character defect is selfishness. “Selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of our problem.”

The last 3 steps help us to become aware of our selfishness, ask God for direction and guidance and then, guided by spiritual principles, practice compassionate action.

Here are the actions to practice for the last 3 Steps — Steps 10, 11 and 12:

Attention – Continue to watch:

Awareness: For selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear.

Assess: When these crop up

Pray — We ask God at once to remove them.

Admit — We discuss them with someone immediately.

Amends — And make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.

Service — Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

Change — Love and tolerance of others is our code.


Here is a picture that I made to describe the process:

how to overcomeselfishness.png


Here is my more abbreviated explanation to stop being selfish:

1. Identify: how am I thinking, feeling or acting?
2. Evaluate/Assess: is this selfish or not?
3. Stop the selfish thought or feeling or action.
4. Do the opposite: think, act or feel the reverse.

Here is a picture of my shortened version:


Alternatively: Stop => Pause => Breathe => Feel => Acknowledge => Accept => Share with others whatever you have.

I hope that this will be helpful for others.

Looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow morning!

With blessings for recovery and peace,



  1. Hi Shira!  I liked the post on selfishness but I had this to offer: Steps 3&4 in your diagram: Ask your HP to reveal to you if you are selfish.  Ask Him to enable you to stop or change, etc.  I can’t just will myself to stop doing or feeling anything usually so asking for assistance from God is crucial. Talk soon, Apr

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